Happy Sunday evening to everyone! I hope it was a great weekend for you all.
My weekend was exhausting. A very fun Halloween/Birthday party on Friday night, 6.5 mile run on Saturday bright and early morning (woo! new distance record for me!), work on Saturday night, Charger game today, which was a heart wrenching loss, so emotional exhaustion ensued, and then a mass cleaning of my apartment to finish off the weekend. I’m quite burnt out. My eyes are really quite heavy as I type this but my blog is important so I shall continue on.
I experienced a lot of emotions this weekend. I experienced the feeling of uncertainty and insecurity, of invisible-ness and anxiety. These emotions came from what I think is my last year’s emotional scars left over that keep resurfacing every so often, leaving me to feel vulnerable and attention seeking at the most odd times. It is a dreadful kind of feeling, making me feel grouchy, very easily brought to tears, and an overall need to be seen and heard much more than usual, especially by those important to me.
After these feelings occurred, I went to team training. The whole drive over to the coast I kept telling myself, I am confident. I am confident. I have confidence. The more I told myself, the more I felt it to be true, and those bad feelings were pushed to the wayside. At training, I ran 6.5 miles nonstop. I felt incredible afterwards. I felt like I had all the power in the world, to be able to reach that goal and I felt so proud of myself. I felt so confident. It was a really great experience and a great reality check that I am who I want to be.
So the rest of the weekend, if I felt a tinge of negative thoughts approaching, I would think back to my running moments and a surge of self approval and confidence would wash over me. Pretty powerful stuff!
I am starting to see so many solutions to problems I have that I think are unsolvable. It is so empowering. Through more confidence, independence, and goal setting, I am well on my way to facing so many of my fears and insecurities head on and turning them into strides and wins and new experiences.
Self reflecting is brilliant. And also exhausting. I am off to get some very much needed rest.
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Have a fantastic week everyone! Remember your own self confidence and treasure it every moment.