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I miss my family.
As crazy as families can be, and as happy as I am here in CA again, I miss them dearly. My dog Junie, my best friend through so many hard times and happy hikes and naps on the couch. I raised her from just a little girl to the sweet old lady dog she is now.
My step dad, the best father figure I could ever ask for. More of my best friend than a strict parental authority, which made it even better. He always makes me laugh and jokes with me, always has a smile on even when life is crap, he always looks at the silver lining. He has the biggest dreams and he always sees them through, I respect that about him more than anything.
My mom, my rock and my best friend as well. She shaped me into a strong woman with the right priorities and goals, and showed me how to achieve anything I wanted to. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know and she is also one of the smartest people I know. She is just the best.
Family is so important, and sometimes I wonder if I ever did anything wrong with any of my family members. The ones I am close with, I think we’re doing just fine. But the ones I have strayed so far from as to call them strangers, that really stings me. I don’t even really remember how it happened. It seems like one day we were perfect, and the next I barely knew them. The way we talk, it’s like talking to an acquaintance. Small talk, talk of the weather, the latest sports, the news, all the surface things. I think it was a gradual process though, something that slowly occurred over a period of years until I really looked and saw what a sham our relationship has become.
I want to fix it so badly. I have tried my very best to be present and accountable, to be there and to be supportive and happy and loving. But it really takes two, and now I just feel like I’m done. I don’t want to keep getting put on the back burner every time I wait to be met half way. I feel now that I’m just an obligation and not a family member anymore. Just a financial obligation that I am required to be seen once a month and that is all.
I don’t understand how this happened, but it is tearing me apart. I try and put it in the back of my mind, but on days when I go and try to be seen, and get nothing but a wave and an envelope that fulfills his responsibility, it makes it very difficult to ignore.
Been one of those days today, but I’m sure a more uplifting post will be up soon. Thanks for taking the time to read this, come back again soon!
Do not be worried, all shall be well so soon!
Keep smiling and writing 🙂
I often feel as such with some members of my family – well in fact most of them. They’re almost like acquaintances, strangers. Shallow talks, polite gestures and that’s all. Is it me or my family? I think it’s me mainly. Because I’ve changed, I’m changing and I will still be changing since I’ve entered into the tornado of puberty. But sometimes, it’s them: they don’t take the time to know me, they just assume then go on.
Family relationships are complicated… as they are very precious.
Great post! 🙂
It is always difficult to get knowledgeable people with this issue, nevertheless, you be understood as you understand exactly what you are posting about! Appreciate it.
Thank you for the input! Everyone!
Family is truly one of the most complex yet fascinating parts of life. I’m still learning how to deal with mine the best way possible.