Happy December! So happy

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Hello everyone!!

It’s been a while, so let me fill you all in :)

I am currently in the middle of finals week, wow right?! This Thursday I’ll be finished with this fall semester, yee! My brother will be graduating from college (yay congrats bro!). I just had my big fundraiser for my half marathon, an ugly sweater party in downtown San Diego, which was a huge success! , I am more than halfway to my $1,500 goal, at around $900!

Basically in a nutshell, I am positively loving life. I feel so in control, so blissfully happy, I am just so happy. Even when people or things get me mad or upset, I bounce back so much faster. I feel so surrounded by amazing and loving people all the time. I have the most supportive friends and family in my life, I am so blessed. All of my relationships have been improving I think, and it makes me feel so good to be close to so many great people.

I am also loving my half marathon fundraising, running, team members, and the whole experience. I have networked with so many great and inspiring people, and have gotten SO good at taking on a leadership role and taking charge of something. I am much more confident in myself when talking in front of crowds and with strangers. I rock, if I do say so myself.

I just feel really wonderful.
I’m sorry I haven’t been posting hardly at all, no excuses…

But I’m happy to share my happiness with you now. I couldn’t ask for anything more in my life right now. Happy December to everyone, I’ll write again later this week I guarantee it!! :)

Long time no see!

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Turkey Day!

Hey everyone! I am terribly sorry to have disappeared these past few weeks.

There comes a time during every semester when I feel like slacking off. It is a REALLY bad habit I know. It only lasts about a week, but it happens to us all I think. Not to the point where I fall behind, just enough that I do what I’m supposed to and leave it at that.

But in turn, I slack in other areas too. Like my blogging, my running, my fundraising…yeah. And with Ben’s birthday and then my birthday right after his, I just wanted to be on break and have fun. Well it was all very fun!! I am now a 20 year old woo! And turkey day was really fun with lots of family and pie and turkey and pie and little cousins and more pie!

I went and saw the new The Muppets movie on my birthday because A. they are so cute! and B. Jason Segal is in it and he is one of my favorite funny guy actors. And it was such a great movie. Some really cute songs! And it is so nice to see kermit and friends again. :) whether you have kids or not, I recommend it for everyone for a feel good time.

My running is going pretty good, though I am not running every day like I should. BUT I can still do the longer distances with the team so I feel like I’m keeping up. I’m up to 8.7 miles!!! Running the whole time!!! I am so proud of myself and of everyone running with me. The fundraising aspect is not as easy however. I still need to raise around $1,000. But I am currently setting up a fundraising event in December, an Ugly Sweater Christmas party at a restaurant in San Diego. We are going to have a raffle, prizes, games, baked goods, photo booths, etc. AND best of all a percentage of all the food and drink will go towards my and several others fundraising efforts!! I am really stoked for the event, though still working to get some raffle items ready.

I was also thinking I would do a rummage sale in January to raise more money. I am going to ask around to all my friends and anyone I know to give me their old stuff they don’t want and we’ll sell it all and all the proceeds will go towards my goal! Still needs some planning but I think it could work pretty good.

On top of all that, school only has about three weeks left until winter recess. So I have final projects and speeches and tests to worry about. I hope I can handle it all. I feel like I have a lot on my plate lately, and I’m all for being busy, but I think the stress of it is getting to me more and more so I will be so relieved when I get some more fundraising done and this fall semester finished as well. Then it’s vacation! And Utah skiing and Christmas day with my family and glorious fun times.

I’m going to put up my link again to my fundraising page HERE in hopes of some of you readers having a looksie and maybe donating!

Thanks!

Well, it is quite weird to have a Saturday night off of work, so weird that I am home blogging :) I will leave you all with warm wishes that your holidays were good and that you enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Oh happy days

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Isn’t it great to feel happy when those around you are happy?

I have a friend who is sort of seeing a new girl and he has been gushing about her every chance he gets. He deserves someone really great and I couldn’t be happier for him right now. It just makes me smile when he lights up about his day and makes jolly facebook status updates about how good life is.

It’s a nice change from seeing some debbie downer post about how unfair/sucky/miserable life is. Because it’s not. Not in the grand scheme of things. Sure, we all have those days when everything goes totally 100% wrong and we just want to go to sleep to end the chaos of the bad day. It happens. And some days we feel like a million bucks and we see rainbows and the sky is bluer and we appreciate the breeze on our face. I like to see those days, and if I can’t see them, I’m quite happy to have a friend of mine feel it.

Our view at night!

A very cool shark

In the AM, a pretty sight!

I’m feeling really good lately. Las Vegas was a blast! We visited Ben’s family and had a wonderful night laughing with each other and I love his family and I love getting to know them more every time I see them. We got a great hotel room overlooking the strip and the beautiful Bellagio fountain. We had our own show every hour to watch! I loved it. We went to the Mandalay Bay shark reef aquarium and saw some really amazing fish, sharks, jellyfish, you name it. We both were really into it:) We walked around the strip and saw lots of interesting sights and people and shops. On Saturday night we went to the ball and had a really nice time. I love seeing all the Marines in their dress blues uniform, and all the girls dressed up. We ate and drank and cracked jokes and even danced a little bit. It was lovely.

A lovely weekend overall! We actually both had to work on Sunday afternoon so it seemed like Vegas was very far away by then, but we made it through and we used Monday as a much needed rest and relaxation day.

But life feels good. I still have some off days, and some days where I can’t explain why I feel down or just not myself. But mostly I feel great. Loved, happy, independent, well rounded, healthy, and content.

Aaaand, next week is Ben’s birthday, so we will have some celebrating to do!!

I hope everyone had a great weekend! Remember to really appreciate your wonderful happy days, and to be happy for a friend when they have theirs.

Bright Lights, Big City!

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Vegas Vegas! Yea yea!

Happy Thursday!

I haven’t had much that has inspired me to write a post lately…but I really hate not posting so I’ll try and keep it interesting! Well, me and Ben are going to Las Vegas tomorrow! The Marine Corps Ball is being held there this year at the Planet Hollywood Hotel. How exciting!!!

Last year it was in San Diego on the Midway, and we got all fancied up (I had a floor length gown and everything), and went to the ball. I met lots of his buddies and their girlfriends and the more higher up guys too. It made me laugh a little because they all just call each other by their last names all the time, and at the ball I think some of them wanted to introduce one another with their first names but no one knew them. But that’s how it goes I guess.

After the ball we went to our hotel room (yes, he is a keeper and sprung for a room in SD even though we live 45 min away) and we changed out of our fancies and into comfy stuff and strolled around Little Italy. It was also on Halloween weekend last year so we people watched a lot at the various costumes. It was such a fun night and this weekend will be just as much fun I imagine if not more :)

We’re staying for 2 nights and I can’t wait to just hang with him for a few days and make stupid jokes and take a little road trip together and not worry about anything. Oh, and I’m really stoked to get dressed up and look fancy hehe!

After the weekend its back to reality as the last stretch of school is upon us. With our school transfer applications in for next fall, all we are doing is waiting to see the results! Another very exciting time.

Birthdays and holidays are coming very soon too, I couldn’t be more happy! I love to bake and decorate and buy gifts for everyone and I get to see my mom and step dad and dog in December for Christmas!!

But I’m getting ahead of myself. This post really has no point or purpose other than to make a post and tell you all that I haven’t forgotten you!

What are some plans that you are excited about in your future?

Thanks for reading!! Have a great weekend.

Family Ties

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I miss my family.

As crazy as families can be, and as happy as I am here in CA again, I miss them dearly. My dog Junie, my best friend through so many hard times and happy hikes and naps on the couch. I raised her from just a little girl to the sweet old lady dog she is now.

My step dad, the best father figure I could ever ask for. More of my best friend than a strict parental authority, which made it even better. He always makes me laugh and jokes with me, always has a smile on even when life is crap, he always looks at the silver lining. He has the biggest dreams and he always sees them through, I respect that about him more than anything.

My mom, my rock and my best friend as well. She shaped me into a strong woman with the right priorities and goals, and showed me how to achieve anything I wanted to. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know and she is also one of the smartest people I know. She is just the best.

Family is so important, and sometimes I wonder if I ever did anything wrong with any of my family members. The ones I am close with, I think we’re doing  just fine. But the ones I have strayed so far from as to call them strangers, that really stings me. I don’t even really remember how it happened. It seems like one day we were perfect, and the next I barely knew them. The way we talk, it’s like talking to an acquaintance. Small talk, talk of the weather, the latest sports, the news, all the surface things. I think it was a gradual process though, something that slowly occurred over a period of years until I really looked and saw what a sham our relationship has become.

I want to fix it so badly. I have tried my very best to be present and accountable, to be there and to be supportive and happy and loving. But it really takes two, and now I just feel like I’m done. I don’t want to keep getting put on the back burner every time I wait to be met half way. I feel now that I’m just an obligation and not a family member anymore. Just a financial obligation that I am required to be seen once a month and that is all.

I don’t understand how this happened, but it is tearing me apart. I try and put it in the back of my mind, but on days when I go and try to be seen, and get nothing but a wave and an envelope that fulfills his responsibility, it makes it very difficult to ignore.

Been one of those days today, but I’m sure a more uplifting post will be up soon. Thanks for taking the time to read this, come back again soon!

Live with confidence

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Happy Sunday evening to everyone! I hope it was a great weekend for you all.

My weekend was exhausting. A very fun Halloween/Birthday party on Friday night, 6.5 mile run on Saturday bright and early morning (woo! new distance record for me!), work on Saturday night, Charger game today, which was a heart wrenching loss, so emotional exhaustion ensued, and then a mass cleaning of my apartment to finish off the weekend. I’m quite burnt out. My eyes are really quite heavy as I type this but my blog is important so I shall continue on.

I experienced a lot of emotions this weekend. I experienced the feeling of uncertainty and insecurity, of invisible-ness and anxiety. These emotions came from what I think is my last year’s emotional scars left over that keep resurfacing every so often, leaving me to feel vulnerable and attention seeking at the most odd times. It is a dreadful kind of feeling, making me feel grouchy, very easily brought to tears, and an overall need to be seen and heard  much more than usual, especially by those important to me.

After these feelings occurred, I went to team training. The whole drive over to the coast I kept telling myself, I am confident. I am confident. I have confidence. The more I told myself, the more I felt it to be true, and those bad feelings were pushed to the wayside. At training, I ran 6.5 miles nonstop. I felt incredible afterwards. I felt like I had all the power in the world, to be able to reach that goal and I felt so proud of myself. I felt so confident. It was a really great experience and a great reality check that I am who I want to be.

So the rest of the weekend, if I felt a tinge of negative thoughts approaching, I would think back to my running moments and a surge of self approval and confidence would wash over me. Pretty powerful stuff!

I am starting to see so many solutions to problems I have that I think are unsolvable. It is so empowering. Through more confidence, independence, and goal setting, I am well on my way to facing so many of my fears and insecurities head on and turning them into strides and wins and new experiences.

Self reflecting is brilliant. And also exhausting. I am off to get some very much needed rest.

Again, please check out My Fundraising Page and Donate and read about the cause, your support is so appreciated!

Have a fantastic week everyone! Remember your own self confidence and treasure it every moment.

More sleep! More food!

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Run!!

Hello all! I am up at an early 8 am (early for me!) and am about to go on my daily run. My progress has been monumental already in my opinion. I am running approximately 3-3.5 miles a day, and last Saturday I ran 5.5! I feel myself getting into better shape and I love feeling those endorphins when I finish my run. But with all this new activity, I am requiring much more fuel and much more sleep. I’m finding myself sleeping 11 1/2 hours a night if I allow myself! And eating many times a day to stay energized.

It’s been an adventure already and it’s only October. I am so happy I decided to train for the Half Marathon though, it has already made my life even better. But now I need to focus on my fundraising goal. Again, to all those reading, please Click Here to DONATE to my fundraising efforts to help me cross the finish line in January and to help those in need of a voice when it comes to sexual violence and assault.

Well, short post I know but I gotta run! (hehe I am so witty)

Have a fantastic day ya’ll. Bake some cookies, watch a movie, hang with family and friends, be happy!

Motivation Wednesday!

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Hey ya’ll!

This week has been great. Some eye opening experiences and some great communicating has led to better relationships and a healthier life. So great!

I also went running tonight with some girls who are on my training team for the half marathon. It was really great to run with other people, so much more motivating and fun. We got through forty minutes of running no problem. I really feel like I am getting stronger with my endurance and my muscles after running almost every day. I am going to try and bump up the mileage to about four miles soon and see how that goes.

I feel very motivated and pumped! My fundraising page is still looking a little weak, but I am eager to get some fundraising projects in the works. Click Here To Donate!

Any ideas about fundraising? So far, I have a list of

- Car Wash

- Tennis Tournament that takes donations, raffles off prizes

- Dinner party with a cover charge

- Bake sale

So…I will get going with these ideas but I really appreciate any other thoughts or ideas.

School is going good, though I had the most difficult project in my graphic communications class. I wanted to pull my hair out every single class working on this thing. My final piece is not very good in my opinion, but is a vast improvement from my very first project. I just wanted it to be better, but time ran out. Oh well, next project will be the best! We are going to be working with green screens and inserting ourselves in an already existing movie trailer. So cool!!

Work is great, same as usual. Payday this Friday yay!

I hope everyone is having a great week and I hope I inspire you to get pumped and get happy! Life is good.

uncharted

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How is it that the best laid plans usually never pan out as you would hope?

I always plan on being the best person I can possibly be to other people. I always live by my golden rule of “treat others how you want to be treated.” I am kind and compassionate, generous, and known for being joyful. I feel that I give and give and give. (Obviously this post is not me at my most modest time. Bare with me ) So after all the giving and the kindness and the thoughtful actions, I should feel happy with myself. Now how is it that I ended up in tears feeling all kinds of self loathing?

First of all, my kindness and my compassion also lead me to be an overly emotional person. For better or worse, it is a fact I learn to live with. So the tears don’t really come as a surprise. Sometimes I’ll cry for the simplest and possibly most ridiculous reasons. Other times it may be about something more important, I can’t explain the logic.

Everyone wants me to be so happy, and damn it I am trying so hard to do so. I am really quite happy in my current situation. Comparing to this time last year I am probably the happiest person on the planet. But I am human, and an emotional one at that, so excuse me for hitting a few bumps on my road to happiness. I am still getting used to everything these past couple of months. Going from being in a tough and lonely long distance relationship to our now proximal and healthy one, with a whole new set of rules, fights, joys, and experiences. Living in one state, and then another, and then different cities in that state. Moving out (of my parents home, of my comfort zone.) Changing schools. Getting a new job. I mean for the love of God, I have put so many new things on my plate! I think I am entitled to a few little meltdowns here and there. I can’t be a perfect go-with-the-flow girl all of the time.

I am a worrier. I am emotional. I am a planner and and overthinker. But I am positive and strong, getting stronger every day. I’m independent and trying my hardest to keep my independence a priority. I have weaknesses. I care so much ( maybe too much) for the happiness of my loved ones and what I do or don’t do to impact that happiness. I think I run myself into the ground with how much I ponder ways to make others happy. And at the end of the day, it’s just me I’m left sitting with and no one else.

 

Training, Fundraising, Raising Awareness, Half Marathon!

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Hey all!

So, hope everyone is having a great start to their week and had a nice weekend : ) Mine was pretty great! Got my paycheck (woot!), worked all three days, AND had my first day of formal HALF MARATHON training!!!

Whoa whoa whoa, you may be thinking. Yes, I have decided to commit to training and running in the Carlsbad half marathon in January. I am training and fundraising with a group called Jeans For Justice, unique non-profit organization dedicated to ending sexual violence through creative awareness campaigns and cutting-edge education programs. My new roommate is an intern with this program and got me involved. At first, I was very wary of the idea. I mean I’m all for raising money and awareness for a great cause like this, but running?! Voluntarily?! For 12.5 miles?! That didn’t sound like me at all.

But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a great thing to pursue. It is a big challenge, not only to train for 3 1/2 months but to also raise a pretty good amount of money, all on top of working, going to school, attempting to keep a social life, etc. But I love a good challenge. And I figure I can only benefit from this! I will get into better shape, as I am being held accountable now for working out so I really am more motivated. I will be raising awareness for such an amazing cause and helping out my local community. I’ll be networking, meeting new people, pushing myself to the extreme, and most excitingly, I will be doing something I’ve never done before! And to say I have completed a half marathon would just be amazing to say the least.

So I had my first day of group training on Saturday morning. It was not easy to wake up at 7 am after working a Friday night to go run a couple miles. But I did it. I met everyone on our Justice in Motion team (that’s what the training program is called).  I met our mentors and coaches and everyone there was so kind and inspiring. I’m not surprised since this is all voluntary and we all have to be pretty motivated to do this. Being around all of these like minded people was very refreshing. We did a 40 minute run at a jogging pace along the coast in Encinitas. So beautiful! I was exhausted by the end, but felt happy I had decided to this.

Now I have those practices once a week plus a running schedule I do on my own throughout the week. I also have my own fundraising webpage set up here, that you can all look at, read more about the cause, and even donate if it strikes you. Any little bit counts and I am excited to see my progress bar jump little by little as the weeks and months go by.

Ah…life is good. Whilst I wish I could keep writing on here, homework and studying are calling my name. Back to the school grind tomorrow. Have an amazing week everyone!!! My fundraising link is http://www.stayclassy.org/fundraise?fcid=133073, again, just if you want to spread the info to anyone in your life.

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